In your own time
One of the reasons I love everything that forest school and woodland learning offers is the freedom it gives people to develop, grow and just “be” at their own pace. Something that I think everyone could do reminding of every so often.
Today I am sat in the woods watching in awe as my teenage son climbs a 50ft beech tree. I cannot describe the pride I feel when I see how confident and comfortable he is and how much he has learnt since the last time I watched him climb.
Thinking back to the books we used to read together when he was teeny, I wish I’d have taken far more notice of the simple message in the beautiful book “Ruby Flew Too!” than the multiple parenting guides that I collected in the hope of finding all the answers on my rollercoaster ride of parenthood. Advice on what my child should be doing when, on what I should be feeding him, on how he should behave. A bombardment of targets that certainly for us, and for many others are simply unachievable. The pressure to meet a certain standard seems to start so young.
If only more parenting guides came in the non-judgmental, encouraging form of the little, colourful board book by Jonathan Emmett and Rebecca Harry that I read to my toddler, with their cute little duck family and the simple message of everyone developing in their own time. When their fifth little duckling, Ruby, is not keeping up with her siblings, Father Duck is worried but Mother Duck knows her stuff and continues to reassure that “She will, in her own time”. It would’ve saved me so much unnecessary worry, over-thinking, analysing and comparing my child (and me) to others if I had just listened to Mother Duck instead of all those other “parenting experts”!!
When we started home education when he was 8 years old my little boy had totally switched off from learning, the sparky little toddler had become withdrawn and anxious and even at such a young age had lost faith in his teachers and the school system. The enclosed environment of the classroom just wasn’t right for him. Home education has given us the space for him to develop very much in his own time, into his own person. Although not for everyone, and by no means an easy option, home education has definitely turned out to be the best route for us, and looking at current figures, for many others too. Although that little book’s message has stayed with me I wish now that I’d have been more Mother Duck over the years and had had much more faith in the process of each of us following our own path at our own pace.
A large part of our home education has been forest school. Not all the forest school groups we attended were the right fit, but finding the one that was has played such a large part in building the outdoor loving, practical teen that I have today. His experiences inspired me to train as a Forest School Practitioner, to develop skills I hadn’t even considered before, so I could set up my own woodland setting offering sessions where everyone can be themselves, both parents and children, where play, learning and wellbeing naturally combine. I often think “if only I’d have done this earlier in my life” but maybe then was not the right time for me and that I did indeed need to do it in my own time.
Although the world is slowly waking up to the benefits of looking after our mental as well as physical health there is still a huge amount of pressure placed on people, whether in school, the work place, by social media or just by ourselves. Silencing that pressure can be hard but for me escaping outside for just a few moments - whether that be in my little garden, a quick walk, sitting amongst the trees in the Tangled With Nature woodland or just dragging my chair out of the office for 5 minutes when the sun makes an appearance, a chance for a reset and recharge.
For just enough time for Mother Duck to remind me “in your own time”.
Thank you Ruby duck 😊